On the Day of Atonement, two goats are presented before the Lord in His Holy Temple. One goat is to be sacrificed facing towards the Holy Place, while the other is to be set free and driven into the wilderness.

If you were a goat, which one would you choose to be? The one facing a sharp knife, or the one free to live another day?

At first glance, the answer is simple: we would all choose life.

But a closer look reveals something disturbing. The goat that is to stay alive is for “Azazel” – a word that can mean hardship. Furthermore, this goat is to turn its back on God’s presence, walk away from the Temple and head into the wilderness.

There are times in life when God brings us to a difficult choice. Either way we turn, someone is going to be hurt. Either choice we choose is going to cost us a great deal personally.

In these situations, it seems easier to choose the option that preserves us alive, but this choice of holding onto our own lives will lead us – like the goat – to turn our back on God’s presence and head into the hardship of the wilderness.

The other choice may in the short term seem a lot harder. It involves facing a sharp knife-edge, it involves a painful moment of death to self. But as we choose this option, we remain in a place facing God’s holy presence. We are laying down our lives, our will and our desires and leaving it in His care. It won’t be easy, but it keeps us close to God.

Some time ago, I made a decision that led to a time of hardship for me. But in God’s grace, He recently gave me a chance to re-visit the same situation. Will I choose differently this time? Will you?