It has been said that one of the hardest things for a husband to do is to understand his wife. I’m sure we have all experienced saying something “completely innocent”, and next thing we know, our wife is becoming all emotional. It is as if we stepped on a landmine! How were we meant to know that this simple statement would trigger such a response?
And as these landmines keep erupting around us, it becomes increasingly tempting to see our wives as being the problem. She overreacts. She takes things too personally.
We want to – and often do – tell her to pull up her socks. Just pull it together. You shouldn’t fall apart like that.
Just be more like me!
However, the Bible never gives us a mandate to change our wives. We quite simply are not mandated to teach them a better way of handling their emotions. Instead, Peter admonishes us men:
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding (gentleness and tact), giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Pet. 3:7
Husbands, we can pray all we want, but unless we get this Scripture right, the Bible tells us the answers quite simply won’t be coming.
Peter tells us to live with our wives with understanding. In other words, this is not a once off moment of being understanding, but rather stresses a daily importance of not dismissing her emotions or her struggles. Paul tells us not to be so quick to judge or try to fix her situation. Nor should we take her emotions as a personal attack. As men, we are Biblically called and mandated to live with her, day in and day out, in understanding.
Paul is here challenging us men to become better listeners. It is so tempting for us to interject, interrupt and even correct our wives as they begin sharing what they are feeling. But a wise husband knows when to keep quiet and listen. He listens to her heart as she shares and seeks to understand how hard this situation is for her. He seeks to become someone she can trust and run to when her emotions are overwhelmed, knowing that he won’t scold her or criticise her in her moment of need. The Biblically wise husband will understand her and treat her with honour and respect even in the midst of her struggles.
And as we embrace this Biblical aspect of being a husband, the Bible promises that our prayers will take on a new level of power. Our prayers will from now on be heard in Heaven, and it will only be a matter of time before we see the answers come to pass here on earth. And, as a bonus, we will also have a much happier marriage. It is a win-win situation!
Ps Enoch Lavender was born in Australia, raised in Norway, spent time living in China and is now based on the Gold Coast of Australia. He has been studying Hebrew and the Jewish roots of our faith for the past decade, and has a keen interest in the Middle East from a Bible prophecy perspective.
Contact Enoch and Olive Tree Ministries
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